It's been a long time coming

How do I face those who-
when I thought I was alone, were cheering me on?
Those silent prayers that saved my life-
That hollow bubble of energy, and science?

I figure here is my next phase,
not for others,
or for love
but for me and what I hope that I can create.

From the ground up I began:

Silent hopes scream like waves crashing on enemy lines.
Do you hear those sounds at night?
How about day?
Did you wake up by your own mercy?
Love, Honesty, Laughter and Perseverance,
do those characters describe thee?

Did you take the drink,
and then let the drink take a drink,
and than the drink somehow took the man/ women?

Do you cry your heart to sleep-
when gun shots shatter through publics?
Did you take a step back,
kneel on your knees,
give strength to those imprisoned by the institution?
Has death shattered you from falling in grace?

I heard the Olympics beginnigs,
drank Jalapeno Margaritas at the ending-
drove, and swiveled in uncertainty. 
But yet I'm still here.

What is the time but now?
Where has it gone until the tomorrow?

My people-
people cant you see!
The rain has stopped,
and heat has reduced us down to a bee.
We sting, don't feel the burn.
We fall,
lids shut laced. 
Dead...
We yearn for substance more than grace.
I refuse my own deviled trace...

Let the birds come back north.
Let the wars on each other abolish.
Let another day began to learn to love again.
Hold us, all our peoples, and purge again.
New America, New 7 seas, New folk that you haven't seen.

STOP!
Chit Chatter.
Fire.
Anguish-
were paining to run free.
Shackles are in our minds,
not the places we have chosen to run in head deep.

Will you take my hand?
Can you accept my heart?
Give me time to declutter?
You know were only human!

Cancer cells grew through naso walls,
I thought defined me.
Physical support, I thought abolished with my body.
Radiation sang a fierce tune through my ear-
I have been burned.

Let the rupture of presence and unity-
speak beyond every ghetto, abuse, and addiction,
and lets create unity.

So beyond those dark words I say:

CoCo Chic has risen from ashes,
he has fallen on GODS true beauty:

Live learning until the day you stop breathing-
hugs give what violence and hate have taken.
Claim back your essence,
walk with your stride that only a higher being has given thee.

CoCo Chic: Qui'Mo Chic
Be//// Bad, Fierce, and Mysterious
TURN AROUND --------------------->>>>>>

<3








 
 

Blot Out- Late V-day loving

Is that my breath?

It has encapsulated your heart,

and somehow- 

I am yours.

The world is ours.

Oh night-

gleaming bright starts in that light.

Twinkle for all those who cannot twinkle.

Love thy lover, who has sworn to never love again.

It is our souls that connect,

and the jasmine that starts to reveal,

and along that path that has been taken,

in that order:

To love,

you have to learn how to love thy love again.

Happy Later Valentines Day/ Currently Presidents Day.

J.C.

Marlise: Princess of the gleaming

Dedicated to:
My niece Marlise (RIP),

and family- extended and blood

(friends of course included). 


Even though- distance, sickness, and life divides, 

love and benevolence shall, and will always conquer all.

Last night I let water run down my body.
In the middle of the shower all I could do was try and process transition:
Things are constantly changing,

like I,
my life,
my weight,
my friendships,
my family,
my health,

my living. In general this former 600 lb. boy has always continued to roll in circles.
However, it is only now that I am learning to catch the ball.

I smell my hands,
and the purged smells of chemicals escaping from my pores-
feels like it has trapped me,
but I’m still free...

Later---

I’ll get in my car and meet with my dean,
I’ll blast my music loud and sing on the freeway.
I’ll say hi to friends and make my way back down to the hospital-
ready to shoot myself up with another needle for my blood clots.

Now---

I sit.
slowly eating on rice pudding.
I’m learning my body, again.
I can’t eat Thai and enjoy the 7 flavors,
but I-
can enjoy a friend eating-
and I can eat off of their energy knowing that I have helped to fill a hunger.

I’m learning that cancer doesn’t make me.
Growing up in urbanized war zones doesn’t make me.
Fiji gulps to avoid 4-hour hydration doesn’t make me-
it’s the smile I keep,
the heart I wake up with,
the love for each moment-
that’s Jahcobie!

Today’s a special day for me.
It the birthday of my niece Marlise who passed away some years ago.
I cried looking at the facebook status of my soul sister Yolette- who is the mother.
I cried thinking about my brother Javon- and the tears that he’s been shedding over me,
his brother.
Over life, his daughter.
Over the war- get busy or die trying.
I balled on the toilet,
my soul cleansing inside,
my mind detoxifying the outside.

Why do I chose to write, to create art- to fight for art?
Writing is freedom, art is today, tomorrow- it’s gone passed the yesterday.
Freedom is love,
and the only hope for happiness is freeing myself up so I can allow love, and be humble to the universe healing me.

When Marlise died I had only seen her once,
and had planned to see her the following day.
At that time in my life,
my legs bleed from chaffing,
I couldn’t walk more than a couple of steps without having to stop
but it wasn’t going to stop me from seeing my princess.

I owe my life, to all those who never got life-
like Marlise.
It takes years for a life to start,
and it is- “the” today,
that I take the recorder off pause,
and press play, and record-
starting the journey of forgiving myself for being human.


Marlise told me when I held her,
she told us all.
The first time I held her,
wasn't the last,
it was the beginning of something only she knew and has taken with her.

Happy Birthday Princess!





What is Qui’ Mo Chic?
It’s a movement of
happiness 
Life Goal #100.
No matter how long it takes.

Change has come, the past has gone, and here I am

Last night,
I counted down the moments,
until the last drops of chemotherapy had entered my body.
Before I knew it I was free-
not free from cancer,
but free from the doubt that I wouldn't make it through my second round.

I am now proud to say I have made it through my second round of chemotherapy!
More importantly my heart has made it through its second conditioning treatment.
I look at each day with a new eye,
with new life
because there is something always newly born
that is here,
but we so often choose to keep it hidden underneath our own vision.

I thought about hate a lot this time.
what do I hate?
what hates me?
Does hate produce hate?
The truth remains that hate is a feeling that shall always pass,
at least in my heart,
as I am a forgiving and inviting soul.
Usually I will give the benefit of the doubt before hammering down on the wraiths of gossip.

I've started to think about my past relationships,
and how hurt I felt after I had been abandoned.
Then I realize that the only person who can really abandon me, is myself.
This comforts me even in times when I think about the "life long" friends and family I thought I had.
They left my spirit, my love, my body-
many days I rotted away with my illness eating away like the liquor I would throw back.
The comfort comes in knowing that I won't be sick forever,
and I'm not like my parents,
I don't drink to drown-
I drink, and if I drown,
I snorkel for a tad bit and pick my ass off the bottom less pit and start again.

It's emotional having a blog,
it like I'm inviting the world into my problems-
however, they are all of our problems.
White fences, and white smiles don't hide skeletons-
facing our demons head on, and allowing ourselves to grieve, heal and grow is what opens us up for happiness.
Right now that's the only thing I want.

On that note I would like to dedicate the following definition of happiness to a very new and dear friend in my life, who's eclectic soul inspires me. 



Happiness:  The release of the soul to a greater place of love, that cannot be denied, it cannot be sought out for- it seeks out to you when you are nude, can nurture to bare its fresh fruits. 

Dear World,
this truths for you.
Please,
subscribe, follow, pass on.
Cancer is real,
......youth is realer....Heal through art.

until next time
live, laugh and love.

xoxo JahCoCo xoxo

The Last Follicles of Puberty

Saturday Morning Blues

This blues,

in my heart.
Ohhh!
How it has rang-

so clear.

It's tune I lose,

when vomit spills,

chemo trails,

slowly,

dripping like acid,

through my tumors cells.

Learn to rest they say.

Rest is for the rich,

worry is for the poor

and somewhere I'm a trapped

fighter, 

in this war,

battling for something more,

ever wishing,

forever yours.

Saturday Morning Blues

where is the tune?

Lord-

where has the tune gone

on this Saturday morning blues?

Qui'mo Chic:

Goal today- Take five deep breathes, live, laugh and love. <3